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(Seriously, if your foundation isn't steady, you'll be that much more prone to decisions you'll ultimately really, really regret.)Too many people get into relationships only because they think they're supposed to, or they don't care to take the time to figure out what they actually want, so by default, they choose what everybody else seems to do.What everybody else seems to say is "the best experience EVER." And for those many people, love is wonderful, but it doesn't have to be the most fulfilling thing. You are fully committed to your weekly brunches with friends and have no intention of surrendering your weekend mornings to lying in bed with someone!

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You want to move where you want, do what you want with your weekends, not be obligated to someone else's obligations. Being selfish and holding onto your autonomy is NOTHING to be guilty about.

How many people are doing that, but are in relationships at the same time, thus hurting people with their desire to self-direct? There's nothing wrong with wanting autonomy in your existence.

The best way to end up with someone who wants the same things as you, with whom you're more likely to stay on the same life wavelength with, is to take the time alone to get yourself already started on the path you want to take.

Once you're there, it might be a better time to look up and see who's around you, headed in the same direction.

If you're someone who knows you want a committed, long-term relationship, what's the point in going out and casually hanging out with people who don't want that? It's important to know what you want, and not waste time on people who aren't going to stand a chance of giving it to you.

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