Questions when dating

I am going to be real cautious about saying there is such a thing as “too fast.” What I would rather ask is this: What’s driving the speed?

If mere physical attraction or some kind of emotive, frilly, this-is-the-one weirdness is driving the speed, then, yes.

podcast and answered ten questions on singleness and dating.

Questions when dating

If the relationship is outpacing knowledge of character, reputation, and knowledge of godliness, then that is way too quick.

But if you are in a context in which you have watched the person’s godliness, you have marveled at their character, you have rejoiced in what God has done in them and through them, then speed isn’t a big factor. What drove the speed wasn’t a flare-up of emotions — it wasn’t a fear of loneliness, or desperation, like maybe this is my only shot. Rather, there was knowledge of his faithfulness to God, his desire to serve the Lord, and his seriousness about the things of God.

So, if I think about my daughters, to have a young man constantly texting them and constantly engaging them on social media without any real clear “I’m pursuing you,” any real clear desire to want to establish a shared knowledge of this relationship, I have concerns.

I see a lot of our young women at The Village Church get teased by guys who simply “like” every Facebook post of theirs, or constantly text the young woman, without ever having defined the relationship.

To help find the right questions, we called on three not-yet-married friends who gave some time to thinking about the challenges faced by singles: Lore Ferguson, Paul Maxwell, and the recently engaged Marshall Segal.

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